After a few years being married, I still believe in marriage. Some years ago, in my heart I felt that marriage was not for me. A bit of a Scrooge, if you will, but concerning marriage. It just seemed to me as a big waste of people’s time, money, and resources. I worked with a bunch of married men who all seemed to be cheating on their wives. Saw a lot of married women cheating on their husbands to get even or just because it’s what they wanted to do. As a young person, that was so discouraging to me. Why bother with finding the one to spend your life with if the end result was betrayal, bitter feelings, and time wasted. I, for one, don’t fancy having someone waste my time. So, why bother? Single isn’t so bad, right?
If all these other people I witnessed, couldn’t get it right.. Who Am I?
I’ll tell you who I am. You see, it took me a while to find out for myself where I fit into the marriage equation. A lonely spinster turned cat-lady? An independent woman who make men feel emasculated? A full-time runner, giving part-time commitment? Then I had the great opportunity to be in a wedding of a friend of mine and that’s where it hit me. I am watching my friend walk down the aisle, pledge her love to a man who had pledged his allegiance to her. She was in pure bliss every time you saw her. So was he. Her joy didn’t stem from a place of past and future arguments, or hurt feelings, or love lost. She was a woman who loved and her husband was a man who loved her back. All the while I am over thinking this marriage thing. Buying into the fact that it possibly won’t turn out good for me based upon others’ experiences. Believing that I am another statistic in the national divorce rate of 50%. I had it all wrong. I am a woman who loves love. I LOVE IT! And what I needed to make my future marriage successful was to marry the man who wanted his marriage to me to be a success.
The art of loving made me believe in marriage.
There is an art to loving another being. It takes a special part of maturity to give of yourself to someone over and over again. It takes a tremendous amount of faith in God and your spouse to submit yourself to this union.
Marriage is not for the weak-minded nor the faint of heart. It takes deliberate intent to serve another person day in and day out. Marriage being one of your biggest tests here on earth.
Why else do I still believe in marriage?
I am a believer in things that work, things that will function properly when put together, and things that will make life run more efficiently in all facets. I will never mix oil and water together and expect it to blend or put my size 8 foot in a size 5 shoe and hope for the best outcome. Marriage is a beautiful union when two people can work together, can function properly with one another and choose to help the other’s life run more efficiently. Seeing marriage how I see it now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is no sense in being with someone who can’t help you soar in life or works against you and not with. I believe in marriage because I now know that it doesn’t have to be so tumultuous when you are paired with a person who believes as you do. While it may not always be the same dream, they still dream with you. Subconsciously, you walk in sync with one another. I believe in the marriages that even though all conversations may not end in an agreement, they always end in respect.
Marriage will always be the work that you put into it. You want a working marriage, marry someone who wants to do the work. Not someone who looks good doing the work. Or appears to be a worker. Marry someone who IS a worker. Marry someone who will move the mountains and know sometimes you may have to move some.
What makes me believe in marriage?
Love and it’s ability to conquer, breakdown, and remove all that is not meant to be. When you and your mate have committed to your heart and mind the true concept of love, marriages have the foundation to achieve amazing things.
Be the woman marriage deserves, commit to the man who your marriage needs to thrive, and believe.